Why Do Most People Hate Receiving Praise?
In my classes, I often ask students whether they find it more uncomfortable to give or receive praise. Surprisingly, about 90% say it’s far more uncomfortable to receive it. So, why is that?
At the core of this discomfort lies our fundamental need for love and belonging. When someone praises us, it feels good—it validates our efforts and acknowledges our worth, fulfilling that deep-seated desire to be valued by others. However, there’s a catch: admitting we need this validation can create an uncomfortable conflict within ourselves.
The Reasons Behind Our Discomfort
Many of us struggle with accepting praise because:
Vulnerability: Accepting praise requires us to be open to our emotions and the appreciation of others. This vulnerability can feel risky, as it exposes us to judgment.
Fear of Perception: We worry that accepting praise might make us appear arrogant or boastful. This fear can prevent us from simply saying “thank you” and basking in the moment.
Internal Conflict: While we crave acknowledgment and appreciation, admitting this need can be a weakness. This inner conflict can lead to discomfort when receiving praise.
Navigating the Discomfort
To navigate this discomfort, we must shift our perspective. Here are a few tips to help you embrace praise rather than shy away from it:
Practice Gratitude: When someone praises you, respond with a genuine "thank you." Acknowledging the compliment can help you embrace it rather than deflect it.
Reframe Your Thoughts: Instead of viewing praise as an obligation, see it as a gift. This shift can make it easier to accept the appreciation.
Recognize Your Value: Remind yourself that you deserve praise. Embracing your accomplishments can help you feel more comfortable receiving recognition.
Conclusion
Learning to accept praise can lead to deeper connections and a greater sense of belonging. It’s a vital part of our human experience. Let’s embrace our need for appreciation—it’s part of being human! By overcoming the discomfort of receiving praise, we open ourselves to a world of positive reinforcement and stronger relationships.
